she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize