Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
