Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
if only i could text you this smell
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
