Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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