He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
wow bdsm is so cute
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
