you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
