You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize