Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
