You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
