OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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