Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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