I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
