I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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