I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
