OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
