Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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