So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
