i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
