Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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