"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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