i already hear my dad disowning me
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize