Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
