He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
