I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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