Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
