Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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