Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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