in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize