It's like God shit irony all over that family
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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