38 yer olds are good kisserssss
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
