Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Houston, we have a squirter
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
