When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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