dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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