marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize