I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
