I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
