she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
and she was petting her beer can
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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