YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
