I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
