Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
two words...techno handjob
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
