Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
