ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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