just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
