how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize