i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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