I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
