tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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