My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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