I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
did i just pee glitter
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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