I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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