I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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