I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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