Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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