So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
