i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
either way he was missing a nipple.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We had to coat check the pizza.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
