He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
