I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize