so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
