You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
