My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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