so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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