I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
