She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The uberlube is also flammable
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I have already put on my inside pants.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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