i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize