Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
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