ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
