He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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