can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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