Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
