That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
