i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
