Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
