You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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