Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
people are starting to question the shark bite story
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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